I will never forget the first day I saw my face covered in pimples. I was 14 years old and my face confirmed how pubescent I was. That first day, when I saw the catastrophe coming, my mother took me to a dermatologist who changed my culture of cleanliness and personal care forever. It wasn't just about washing my face, putting on cream and taking some medicine that kept the acne we've all gone through under control. After a few months, I had the most beautiful complexion in the class, without a single pimple.
I remember how beautiful and privileged I felt, my dermatologist was a secret between my mom, my sister and me.
And so I grew up very happy with young and beautiful skin (and with some arrogance haha) thousands of years passed, 15. And one day I was already 30 years old and I still thought I had the most beautiful skin in the world. I knew I had some spots and in my mind it was the consequence of enjoying my wonderful life on the beach. That is, one or another trip I was able to take with my friends. And I was always a lizard, I loved the sun and I loved how tanned I looked.
After living in a happiness that only existed in my head, I found myself at a 30th birthday party and of course my friends and I were surrounded by babies. Imagine the seriousness of the matter, you are 30 years old, you are at a friend's party who is turning 30 and some of your friends already have children... clearly I no longer felt as young as my head thought.
And this whole long story I told you about how I was happy, believing who I wanted to believe I was, collapsed in 3 seconds.
It all started with a stare from my best friend. Those looks that you know you have a runny nose or that you have a big bean. I knew she was looking at me something strange and suddenly she throws me the comment “Wei please tell me that you put cream or something on your eye contour” … Whaaaat? I mean it never crossed my mind that my best friend was looking at my crow’s feet!!! It sounds funny but it wasn’t, in my head I had to pretend to be cool, keep my smile and tell her “obviously yes” and inside I wanted to cry.
I'm not lying, my heart hurt and at that moment I felt old.
I know some people will say I'm exaggerating because I'm only 30 years old and I know I'm still young, but at that moment, the comment from my best friend, with whom I've lived for 28 years, hurt me deeply. The comment from my best friend, with whom I've lived for 28 years, hurt me deeply.
I remember that after getting out of that awkward moment, I went to my husband and told him with an exaggeratedly fake smile that I wanted to cry. I told him everything super fast (with that same forced smile) and we laughed, too, fake-laughing.
Already in the delicious comfort of our car, I asked her for her sister's phone number, as I knew she was getting Botox.
I didn't hesitate for even 30 seconds to schedule my appointment.
And it was really sad to contradict what I had been chattering about with my friends for years. I swore up and down that I wasn't going to get Botox because "I wanted to age gracefully."
It turns out that wasn't the case. A month ago I got Botox on my beautiful crow's feet and I have to confess that I like how I look because I see myself as I have always seen myself.
The question here is… should I have gotten Botox to feel the way I already felt before someone threw a super invasive and out of place comment at me?
I don't know if I did the right thing or not. At the time, it gave me peace to get Botox. But what gives me the most peace is that it's temporary and I can decide again if I want to do it or not. I think the freedom to decide which path to take is what I take away from this experience. I think you can redirect your path or go back and change course completely. I also think it's healthy to keep our opinions to ourselves, we don't always have to say what we think.
A simple comment can be an unexpected turning point in someone else's life.
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